I too had the same hesitancey about taking medication. I had several conversations with my pdoc and T about it. They both assure me that the medication only enhances therapy. So far, they are right. It has allowed me to see things more clearly and keep control so I am able to make logical decisions. Sometimes, it's a natural lower level of seretonin that causes the depression and no matter how much therapy, it will never replace it. Although, certain feelings also produce seretonin, even in those individuals who don't produce enough of it.
As for not wanting to "take drugs", you already are - the ativan three times a day. Just my experience and own hesitations.