the fact that you say you hate what your doing and your tired of it is really good , you know its not right and you dont want to do it. if you feel ready could you vist your doc? if you already have a doc you like than maybe talk to them or the practice nurse. if you dont feel ready for that could you ring a helpline?
just telling my doc who was very understanding helped get thing off my chest.
theres no easy way to beat it but you can beat it!
i kept a diary to try and pin point what triggered me off etc that helped seeing in black and white where the highs and lows were.
ive suffered from both anorexia and bulimia , bulimia more so now so if you ever need a chat just ask x