Secrets....not fears huh? Ooops!!!

I've told you my fears....some of them secret, some of them not. I'm kinda the opposite of secret. I guess my fears are kinda secrets in a way.

Some days I want to just get hit by a car when I'm all alone in it.
When I get angry at people...like really angry...I secretly wish they would just die so my would could be perfect again.
when I was pregnant at 18 with my now perfect daughter....I constantly wished I'd miscarry.
I've also damaged a car more than once and didn't tell anyone or admit to it.
I'm afraid I'll never want to have sex again now that I've been on these meds. I feel like and "it" and not a woman.
I've secretly wished people could feel my pain for a day. (That's a bad one)
I have secretly wished that I had powers to make other people see things.
I day dream about people dying so I know if I love them or not.
Sometimes I fear my kids are the only people I truly love.
I secretly wish I was famous, or a genius.
I wish I was more together.
I hope I get happy manic again....I miss that.