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I can completely relate to your experience of being abused by other children. My abuser is my older sister by 6 years. I can also relate to the feeling of wanting to run away and vomit. I can tell you, though, that it has so far helped me tremendously to work through this abuse. I could never have imagined how much it has affected my development and my characteristics/ personality as an adult. I will keep you in my thoughts. You are very brave for being willing to wade through such murky, treacherous water.
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"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron
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