Quote:
Originally Posted by jamminpianogirl
Hi Hazel, how long have you been married? How long were you together before the marriage?
Once children come into the picture, splitting up takes on a whole different level of meaning because it's affecting not only you but your family. If you feel that the marriage can be salvaged, and that you can continue on having a healthy and happy relationship with your husband, I suggest you try that avenue. On the other hand, if you're sure that the differences between you and your husband can't be resolved, and your relationship is going to be permanently strained in a way that creates a chaotic or unhealthy environment for the children, then I think it's better to part ways. I think it's better for children to grow up with two separate parents that are living happy fulfilling lives than to grow up with parents who are together but in an unhappy, negative relationship - it affects the children. I can't be sure what is the best in your situation since I don't know much of the history of your relationship.
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I have been with my husband for four years and married for one of those years. I believe I got married for the wrong reasons. I wanted someone to love me. I think I just settled really. The children are what is keeping me there. I am scared of change and scared of changing their life's. The one friend that I have talked to about the situation things I am selfish. But where does the line cross from being selfish into taking control of your life? My husband and I have a good relationship to to an extend but it is mostly like a sister/brother type of thing. For me anyways. I can't even take having sex with him seriously. He is not like a deadbeat. He does provide for me as far as having a job (although he does have a problem with spending), and he does cook and clean. The bad things about him are that he is always negative. I also get extremely defensive because I feel like he is constantly getting on to my/our daughter. It would be so easy if things were straight forward and he was beating me or something. I would know to leave. But when do you know it is time to leave without the violence?