It is hard to make any changes until one can identify what it is that needs changing. I would start a journal/blog and see if I could identify times when I experience the feeling of loss of control and write about it (rather than use my body inappropriately), see if I cannot imagine some other ways to deal with it and experiment with those.

It's easy to lump many things together in a larger group but impossible to then work with them; imagine it like laundry; we put a bunch of stuff in the washer/dryer all together but when they come out, we have to separate them and fold them individually; one doesn't put the towels the same place as the underwear But if you had never learned about the different articles, you wouldn't be able to separate them out, wouldn't know what was what?

I think emotional situations are a bit like that, if one doesn't work to identify just what each emotion is and how it is "used" and what it is for, it's hard to get a very clear result. Your body is "big" and easy to see/use and abuse. Get to know the details of yourself and your life experience so you can fine tune your responses and make them appropriate.