Psychotherapy is not defined. Certainly not well-defined. That is why it "works" sometimes and not at other times. Because what is going on in therapy differs from therapist to therapist, and mostly people do not pay enough attention to the differences to know why sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I claim that the differences are knowable, but that few pay enough attention to know. Mostly (as I see it), sometimes a T knows how to listen, and sometimes not. Listening to what the other person is saying, and not what he or she "should" be saying. Listening and being willing to accept the painful, and not wanting to shut it off.