Thanks Eskie for sharing your ideas and your past marriage experience. I want to speak a bit about the religion itself and how if some choose...they can marry up to 4 if they want to. He's not even following his own religion - the man is supposed to let the 1st wife know what happenening before he makes that decision - he's also supposed to treat the women equally, meaning, spending equal time with each and he never did. Some arabic women DO support this idea, the same way some polygamist families in the U.S. accept this way of life. The main difference is they live in separate dwellings, where as most of the families in the other polygamist families live together in the same house. I have nothing against people who 'choose' this kind of lifestyle and these women openly accept each other and agree to let go of traditional jealousy and possessiveness. It becomes a problem if one of the parties doesn't agree, like in my case - then this becomes a forced situation if the woman has no way of supporting her children solely. If my husband would simply agree to move out or I move out, there wouldn't be a problem.

When it 1st happend, I was so kind - we have a big house and I offered him to have the house as long as he would find me a smaller house. I was willing to take a 'decline' in lowering the standard of living. I don't need a fancy big house and car to be happy. What I don't want is, to live in poverty and he knows this. He's using that fear to keep me here - it's either stay here or live on welfare. He very sneaky and knows how to manipulate the legal system and accounting system and he would make it seems like he doesn't have money if I were to file for divorce on my own.

The one good thing is, I don't have to be intimate with him. I completely lost all desire to be with him after knowing he's with someone else. Like I said, I wonder if he's still with her because he sleeps in our house every night for the last year. He used to go there every Saturday night and come home Sunday afternoon.

Once is a while the whole situation gets to me. I have to get myself focused so I can take care of myself. I tend to forget about myself when I'm upset. My goal is to keep my body strong and healthy so when I do finally get free I'll be healthy. Life is taking it's toll on him - he looks older and out of shape compared to me. I don't have any health problems and have the same blood pressure as my 13 yr old lol. Sadly at this point it's 'survival of the fittest'.