I have been with my husband for four years and married for one of those years. I believe I got married for the wrong reasons. I wanted someone to love me. I think I just settled really. The children are what is keeping me there. I am scared of change and scared of changing their life's. The one friend that I have talked to about the situation things I am selfish. But where does the line cross from being selfish into taking control of your life? My husband and I have a good relationship to to an extend but it is mostly like a sister/brother type of thing. For me anyways. I can't even take having sex with him seriously. He is not like a deadbeat. He does provide for me as far as having a job (although he does have a problem with spending), and he does cook and clean. The bad things about him are that he is always negative. I also get extremely defensive because I feel like he is constantly getting on to my/our daughter. It would be so easy if things were straight forward and he was beating me or something. I would know to leave. But when do you know it is time to leave without the violence?