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Originally Posted by rainbow8
I know that sounds like a question with an obvious answer: because a T is like a doctor and has to know what's wrong in order to help us. But why do we have to "expose" ourselves?
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The services that a therapist provide are so different then a doctor. A doctor can run tests. Do X-rays, blood work, biopsy, etc to come to a conclusion about treatment. Therapist's are almost totally dependent on our clients giving us all possible information. It is exposure. Deep, personal, exposure. That's the only way we get the "films" for the "x-ray".
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I'm asking because I am struggling with talking to my T about some of my problems. I don't know how to talk about them. I want to hide. It's not about abuse, just things that will make me blush. I already started talking in bits and pieces about something, but since my last session I want to tell her more. It feels urgent! On the other hand, parts want to stop the part who wants to talk about this stuff. The part who wants to talk trusts my T and thinks she will help.
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I think sometimes you can talk "around" issues first. Addressing it as "I am struggling because I don't know how to talk about something. It's so intense I want to hide. I want to blush, etc" And you can address the feelings around it and then T will hopefully help more and more pieces out by showing you it's safe.
I wonder if it feels urgent because it IS safe? There's this person, readily available, able to listen and help without judgement. The relief we feel is tremendous when we share bits and pieces of our soul and see it really IS ok.
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But I'm ashamed to talk about it. I emailed her that I was scared and wanted to hide under all the pillows on her couch. I don't want to say the words. But it's so silly. I worried about something for my whole teenage years because I wouldn't say the words. My T already knows but I want to do it over with her. I want her to be my mother and I will tell her what was wrong back then. But why is it okay to tell all this personal stuff? It's like being naked before my T. I don't know if it's okay or not. I know she will say it is, but WHY? Logically I know, but emotionally I don't know understand why it's okay to tell her things that make me ashamed from long ago. Also, why do I want to tell her so badly?
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It makes sense you want to "re-do" this with your T. You want to get appropriate responses. Therapy is a good place to do that. It's ok to tell her this stuff because she is safe, is there for you, and will never hurt you. While it is generally unsafe to be "naked" with most people, you can be "naked" with T and trust that no harm will come to you. She will not belittle, abuse, or take advantage. She will probably sit with you, in the feelings of vulnerability, and validate the entire experience.
It's ok because T is an okay person, who has created a safe place for you to say anything you need to say to continue on your journey of healing.
Good luck to you.