Yes, I get that, there's all these primitive doubts that get dredged up by this process. That's something that was REALLY surprising about therapy for me.

It helps to remember (for me) that who you are in there is not your "real" self or whatever. It's different states that you're living. Need to be strong and together in real life? you can secretly be a sobbing mess. Have all these secret wishes that are pretty bad? Your therapist is kind of a keeper for all of those. You can take them out and look at them. And you can put them away, because realistically different people are going to elicit different things in us. We're not the same all the time and in real life we don't have to wear our heart on our sleeve all the time.