Hi Masimo,

I'm going to try to answer you last two posts. I don't think there is anything wrong with him being a little more than attracted to you, after all he is human. Hopefully he is consulting your case with another T to help him with whatever countertransference he is having with you...........as from your posts it sounds like he is. This is not a bad thing, having countertransference, he just may need someone to help him stay objective.
With you second post, I think it is sweet that he gave you a hug. It sounds like he is walking that fine line between trying to help you with therapy vs. remaining professional quite well. It is obvious you are in heart over head. (((((((hugs)))))) That is a tough place to be. I think from you end, the fantasy, all of that is fine. It may help you heal. From his end, he needs to be very careful. I understand what you are saying that if you met in different circumstances, that you can sense the chemistry that is real, that is outside of therapy sort of thing. And I am not trying to invalidate that at all. However, at some point you have to accept the limits and the reality of the situation. If anything were to happen it would ruin his career and it would hurt you in ways you cannot imagine. If you are not sure about that, read on this thread about everyone who has had romantic relations with their T. How many of them ended up happily ever after? Maybe one. Do a search on google. There are therapists who specialize in helping clients who have had romantic relations with their therapist. That is how traumatizing it is to them. Part of your feelings are real, part are symbollic. Your T can help you with both..........within the safety of the T relationship. Trust me, trust me...........once you get into the real world it is much different. Who wouldn't fall in love with someone who gives you their undivided attention, who is on their best behavior, it is all about you, maybe he is even handsome? And the person seeing that T is starving for that attention, that is part of why they are in therapy in the first place. And that is why it happens so often, is almost normal. However, in the real world he would still have all the power. I think you might be caught up in that fantasy of someone who can take care of your every need(I totally get that). Reality hun, is that that person does not exist. It sucks. The pain is excrutiating at times. But your T does care............it sounds like he does a lot. Let him help you in the way that he is best trained and able to do so. If you really care for him and you want to pursue something outside of therapy, find another therapist, wait the required amount of time per the law where you live(at least 2 years) and at that point you are free to pursue what you want. It may happen, it has before, but I guarantee you it will be different. I have experienced feelings for both of my Ts and I guarantee you I would not trade that for ANYTHING because those relationships were so different from anything I have experienced. I take the good with the bad. The closeness with the knowledge that at some point it will end. I hope this helps you.