You don't have to express anything you aren't ready to express. Is it the vulnerability you feel from self-expressing itself that bothers you, or is your concern more about what you specifically want to talk about?

I can relate to that. Revealing deeply personal and private stuff is hard! I remember trying to tell former T something, and I ended up closing my eyes and whispering stuff to him. Eventually he guessed. It's difficult letting ourselves be so vulnerable with someone, and trusting them to accept and protect us and to take care for us.

It's okay to express your feelings, Rainbow. It's okay to simply be yourself. She's a great T and she will accept whatever it is you want to express and care for you through this. Maybe you could do this very slowly and gently, at a pace that you are most comfortable with.

Talking about things and putting them out in the open can lessen the power these feelings have over you. She may be able to point out distortions or offer you new thoughts to consider. You might come to learn that your shame is misplaced. You might be able to offer yourself more compassion and acceptance. There is some need to tell her this, and to express what you've been feeling. I think it's good to listen to that.

I hope you can offer yourself some kindness with less judgment in this, Rainbow. They're your genuine and honest feelings. I think it's good to respect that.

You're judging yourself harshly in this and also worrying about being judged by others. It's okay to just be, Rainbow. You're a valuable, worthy, and lovable human being just as you are.

Take care.