Hiya Harnbrand!

I don't have much on the intellectual level to contribute, only my experiences. I have had a lot of sexual trauma in my life and that resulted in a total aversion to sex. I told my therapist one day that I thought I was a-sexual. She laughed hysterically and responded, "You think about sex way to much to be a-sexual" This was before I became a sex addict or even took the slightest pleasure from a sexual encounter with my then husband.

So, I'll walk you through my experience. I left my husband in 2006 and moved 300 miles away. I started working graveyards in a hotel with a male security guard. It was then that I discovered my core belief that all men are rapists and if given the opportunity they will rape me! It's a projection of my past trauma and unfortunately a very stubborn core belief that hasn't shifted much since the five years I've been aware of it. Anyhow, after analyzing myself in therapy, I discovered that my subconscious reaction was to make sex with this man, which I perceived to be inevitable, my choice. So I pursued him and he reciprocated and we began a sexual relationship. This man was compassionate, kind, understanding of my past and I don't know why but that made me let go and trust him. He gave me my first orgasm and that started my sexual addiction. I've been chasing that high ever since. Plus, still when I feel threatened by a man I will sleep with a different man hoping karma will notice and keep the initial man from raping me. Tit for tat and not at all healthy but I'm a work in progress.

So, sex with women. I wrote in my journal that sex with men=sex by force and sex with women=sex by intrigue. I identify as bi-sexual though I don't openly admit this in real life to very many people. I have never had a successful relationship with a woman and currently am focused on men as I would like to re-marry and have a baby. I know two women can adopt but I want the traditional as it fits more smoothly with my spiritual convictions.

"I'm certain that many of you have heard the old stereotype - that women are more likely to be bisexual than men. "

I wanted to add my comment to yours above. Think about pornography for a moment. What does society prefer? Two men and a woman or two women and a man. My conjecture is that society, especially the man (who is sometimes pigeon-holed into this response), would prefer to see the two women. I also think it's a selfish thing. If you have two men and a woman then the two men are sharing the woman. But if you have two women and a man the man has two instead of 1/2. I'm not good at math but I know I would prefer two over 1/2.

Hope I've been able to give some insight.

Love and hugs,
Tara