doogie, I'm glad "writing it out" helped you. The thing is, I've already done that--written her emails and even talked some about this in my sessions already. But I reported my feelings to her, like it wasn't about me at all. Now I have to use the words and talk to her and BE there, and accept it's ME I'm talking about it. It hasn't helped enough to write it out but it's a start for me. Thanks!