I have been so upset for years! Angry and sad that my mom pushed my sister away. This happened 10 years or so ago. I searched high and low for her ~ looking online, calling prisons, etc. Always trying to find her and her kids.

A big story in itself ~ my sister is very antisocial. The disorder fits her to a T. And, yes, she's been correctly diagnosed ~ but has never given into treatment.

Despite the very strong and negative characteristics that my sister has, I've always been sympathetic to her. How could I not be? I've sure sufferred the effects of growing up in our sick family!

Anyway, you can't even possibly imagine the shock to see that I'd gotten a note from her via FB. I never go to FB anymore, because it's so full of people & stupid games (imo). But, my sister actually found me! I can't believe it!! Part of me is struck by happiness, but I'm also scared. I've changed so much since we talked last. My whole world has changed. And I know, being anti-social, it's not likely that she really wants to hear how the past 10 years (or so) have been for me.

I wish that we could talk about everything. But, she's not that kind of person. And I can't think of how I could talk with her, without bringing up part of my health or the end of my marriage & how we have children. I don't know how to have a "safe amount" of emotional distance. Like my wise mind is telling me not to jump in, but my emotional mind is already jumping!

All of these memories and emotions all bubbling at my top...I'm swirling. Stuck, but afraid to look away.