Hey! I've got to say I've never had any sort of experience like this so obviously can't really offer any real advice, but maybe the best thing to do is to have a little bit of time to work out how you want to approach this before acting in a way now that might not work out as the best in the end, but then again she has contacted you so obviously she wants to be in touch and based on how you've been looking for her so do you. I understand what you mean about the emotional distance though, in the end you're worried you're going to get hurt...perhaps the only thing I can say to that is that sometimes my family hurt me (I know it's not comparable), they make me angry or upset, but also they're my family, and I love them as I know they love me, and there are plenty of good times to outweigh the bad.
Good luck whatever you decide to do, I've got my fingers crossed for you x