Quote:
Originally Posted by June_Bug
Reframing my previous post "is this DDNOS or DID".
I have dissociative states that I have labeled:
1. Dread. Dread follows me around wringing it's hands always worried and scared (carries anxiety and panic).
2. The Watcher. I have the watcher who watches others and their responses to me and reports back to me when I get home (very critical parental or authority figure).
3. Shame. I have shame that hangs around me when I get home after The Watcher has reported (my childhood abuser).
4. The Joker. I have The Joker, which comes out more often than I like in public and makes funny statements or acts funny but is not really funny at all (not unlike my father who also acted this way).
5. Inner Child. I have my inner child that appears needy and has no social skills whatsoever. This inner child is 5 years old and holds my trauma memories and is that part that quickly moves me into dissociation when feeling unsafe. This is the part that I struggle with the most as I have never been able to communicate with any success. The 5 year old part of me has never been to school, does not know how to read or write, has a learning disorder, ADHD, and has had inconsistent parenting with long-term sadistic abuse and so there's a huge language barrier there to work with.
6. The Defeatist. I recognize a new part called the defeatist, who orchestrates all these parts to keep me in bondage.
I have tried over the years, but nothing has worked and I fear I will forever be stuck and not able to move through to integration, which is what I am hoping for. I think if I can get through to my Inner Child I would call that a break-through and hopefully the remaining 5 parts will follow and cooperate with what I am trying to accomplish.
Wondering what has worked for those of you who have DID  Thanking you in advance for your replies  |
june bug you seem to have a great deal of knowledge about your parts, more than I had when I started out, This is fantastic because you wont have to start from scratch, trying to figure out what parts there are, why they are there... that right there takes years off of whats ahead and in store for your healing. its like opening a book you have already read part of, you are able to pick things up in the middle. That leaves a lot more options open to you.
you can bypass the tedious and sometimes frustrating work of discovering who your alters are and what their purposes are. you can jump right in and show your parts you are now capable of taking care of your self and them.
I read your list of parts and they remind me of a couple of my parts and of a few of my clients that had negative introjects. heres what we did in my own therapy and what I now do with my clients...
first we taught the clients how to use what they normally do for calming their own symptoms like anxiety, nervousness, shame all those characteristics that are within their parts. we had them listening to their favorite music (sure we could have brought in a mess of music for them but its much quicker to use already established positive coping tools), we had them write out some affirmations (positive statements about their self, positive statements that can remind them they are safe and can handle the situation) Journaling, Some entered yoga class because they always wanted to learn that and its great for relaxing, regrouping your mind set, Some learned DBT and EMDR which has elements of changing your mind set, behavior and learning how to calm yourself built within those therapy techniques
After we had them to where they were able to care and self nurture their self out of their panic, anxiety .... , then we went to work on the introjects using the same process. when ever our clients recognized they were reacting as a "part" we had them repeat what they were now able to do for their self, do it for the parts, say even if all they could do was think from inside those affirmations, think about those coping tools.
it wasnt long before "host" of these negative introjects were able to recognize - before - they switched into them that the switching was going to happen.
when they got to this point we had them use a watch. the first time they felt like a switch was going to happen they were to look at their watch and focus on the watch using their affirmations, EMDR any other postive coping tools they have learned to calm their self and remain aware as long as they could.
the second time do the same thing but stay aware only one minute longer than the last time.
each time they felt a switch coming they would use their positive coping tools to stay aware one minute longer while repeating their affirmations and other positive coping tools.
During the therapy sessions we worked with the clients to recognize who in their life these introjects were emulating or why they were tormenting the host. then based on what we discovered about the introjects, parts we added more work.
in my own therapy we did the same things for those negative parts of mine that were like those you described.
I know this isnt a whole therapy plan and what works for my clients or me may not work for you but its a start if you would like to try them. dont get discouraged if it all doesnt fall together quickly. for some of my clients it took only a couple weeks to break through to their introjects and others it took years. with me dealing with the introjects was actually easier then dealing with my alters. it took about 6 months to break through to my negative introjects, my remaining in control and their realizing they could not torment me any more.
