Hello all,
Inconsistent and hypocrisy are words that I hear often. The expressed view of one, then another from within, yet spoken from the same mouth. Strong beliefs from the left on Tuesday, strong beliefs from the right on Wednesday. The 'feelings' are all truth, the emotion is real, even the words are true at the start and at the finish, and inbetween different true words are said. Fluidity is key here, seamless transition appears as instability, and lying, to those who are none-the-wiser to our 'true life'. I/We play the ultimate charade, of a single individual when in fact I/we are many. Does that make me/us a liar? Am I/Are we justifiably accused when I/we do not give our accusers reason to know any different than what is presented? I wonder sometimes. I work so hard at maintaining integrity, especially when reviewing memories/flashbacks, yet for my own survival/preservation, I am ultimately telling the biggest of lies. I am not who I say I am. My name is not the name I answer to, I don't call you because I feel no connection to you, I forget your birthday because I don't know when it is. Do I tell you, 'be truthful', expose myself and risk losing everything that matters, not just to me, but to others I share this existence with? Or do I continue, accepting this One Lie to be forever told? The Truthful Liar?
Crisis of self. Musings of my own, not intended to offend.
Thank you for listening,
kp