There is a lot more depth to this than meets the eye Michael. Sexuality is not just about Agressive and Passive.

When I think about someone who wants to be the Agressor. Now what does that really say. Well, it could mean that he had an overpowering mother who was cold and over ruling and no real love and tenderness was exchanged. Therefore that male child often becomes the Agressive one as he is over ruling that domineering mother in every sexual act, his source of being in control. Ofcourse he doesn't really realize that he just goes on and TAKES, TAKES and gains satisfaction in the act of Overpowering one into submission. But to be honest that is not intellectual at all.
Honestly, what is the real gain in that? Think about it, it is more animal than intellectual. And it has nothing to do with truely experiencing the deep fabric of another person. It is the difference between a true artist of making love rather than the ravages of grabbing a can of paint and dumping it on the floor. Gee one might as well just be a gorilla.

And to be honest, that is one main reason for the high divorce rate. Because a deep SATISFIEING RELATIONSHIP requires some REAL INTELLECT AND STAYING POWER, REAL STAMINA. Not the kind of stamina that is required in an almost rape like situation. There is no real fabric to that, no satin or silk or velvet, just SANDPAPER.
That is where the saying comes from THE (ART) of MAKING LOVE. Women can only dream about A REAL MAN. And it has nothing to do with AN AGRESSIVE MATE. Very few men bother to truely educate themselves about women and many of them just take because they just don't have it in them to LEARN ANYTHING ELSE. Maybe that is why women turn to other women, and believe me I have heard those conversations too. I have talked to women who have said if only my best friend could be a man, how nice that would be. Men are fairly easy to satisfy unless they are a drunk and take forever and slobber all over the woman, Yuck, no one enjoys that except for maybe another drunk and that is called mindless sex.

A woman would rather have a man that cant get it up but has all the other qualities a woman really enjoys. Older men that are kind and gentle and loving have no idea what a comodity they can be, they often think that just because they have lost some of what they consider their manlyhood they are not desirable, that is pretty sad because they can be very desirable. Ignorance can also lead to loneliness.

And when the first steps on the moon were taken and they spoke the words about a big step for mankind, the women had a lot to talk about away from the ears of MEN. (LOL)

I think that there is a whole different demension behind sexuality. The spoken and unspoken and it is deeper than meets the eye. Are some born to have a preference, the science says yes. But there are those that are also confused about their sexuality and that also may come from the parents and what they expressed to each person as they grew and developed.

I myself do not question a persons sexual preference, I leave that up to them, it is my hope that they are happy with their choice and find a true companion to share their life with. Like you I am not a scientist so I cannot judge or state on the science of the matter.

I question the aggressive passive behaviors to sex and why that may take place. It is my opinion that it may be a lack of something that an agressor may need control or even a passive person may have a lack also.

But I have never had a desire for either aggressive or passive positioning, I would prefer an even interest and mutual partnership. More of a learning about each others desires and grow in not only a sexual nature but in all the other demensions of a relationship. I would think that would be the healthy way no matter what prefrence one has in gender. I think that there can be a confusion with the word agressive. I think the healthy approach is to be assertive in both partners.

But that is just my opinion, I suppose as always to each his/her own.

Open Eyes