Are you doing relaxation work with therapist, too?
I know how it is! we all experience this: when we TALK ABOUT IT out loud, we acknowledge it on a different level! And we can never know how awful This really multiplies everything!

Googley,

We agree, in the therapy room, about doing quiet, soothing and calming stuff after doing more intense stuff, preferably with a bear.

PS The youngster hummingbirds are about to fly the nest, maybe today or tomorrow! Phoebe's kids!

I was thinking about something else googley. Perhaps what you need to do with the therapist is to plan the session in fragments. In other words you will only talk about one aspect of your past. And what you will do is plan a time period in that session for a focus on relaxation methods. So if your session is for an hour then you could plan on discussing a past event for the first half hour. Then use the second half of each session to focus on relaxing methods.

This way you wont be leaving the T all emotional and drained. Instead of building up stress before each encounter with the therapist thinking you will be addressing an outpouring of events that may allow you to feel that you are inviting your history to retraumatize you, you could know that the approach will be fractioned off and there will be a soothing period afterwards where you can focus on getting leveled out so that when you walk away from the therapist you will not be carrying any of the emotions with you.

I think that many patients go to see a therapist with a preconcieved idea that they have to all of a sudden be forced to expose every aspect of their past. So, in effect there is a great concern about a dam being opened and having everything come out all at once. So you have to think about how you can allow yourself to SLOWLY dip into your past, ONE FRACTION AT A TIME.

Perna posted a very interesting way of looking at a past trauma and I really like that idea or concept of thought.

So think about my suggestion and talk to your T about setting up that process with everything built into the session that way. Therapy should be just that (Therapy), not a time for being traumatized but a time to learn how to WORK THROUGH THAT PAST ONE FRACTION AT A TIME.

One of the things I noticed about the various members concerns in therapy are a FEAR of THERAPY. It is as if the patients FEAR they are in no control of the therapy and that should not be the case. By choosing therapy you are opting to work on your unresolved issues that are a constant source of emotional stress and uncertainty. But YOU know YOU best and what that means is that there is nothing wrong with HELPING the therapist to UNDERSTAND THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL THERAPY WOULD HELP YOU. Going to therapy does not mean that you will be forced to do something that you are not ready to do. So, before you enter into giving the details of the issues that you are hesitant to disclose you need to set up a PLAN OF THERAPY with your therapist that YOU would feel most comfortable with. Therapy is about forming a TRUSTING relationship with your therapist where you feel comfortable and walk away feeling that you actually RECEIVED THERAPY that has been BENIFICIAL to YOU. And all patients are unique and therefore that patient is the barometer for the therapist to learn about WHAT WORKS BEST FOR EACH PATIENT, THAT IS THEIR JOB. The therapist is there to HELP you HEAL. The therapist is not there to TRAMATIZE YOU. The goal is to be able to address your issues WITHOUT BEING TRAMATIZED OR EXPERIENCING THE LEAST TRAUMA AS POSSIBLE. So it is important that YOU interact with your therapist ON YOUR OWN BEHALF to discover YOUR COMFORT ZONE IN ADDRESSING YOUR PAST ISSUES. Yes there will be difficult issues that you will be addressing but the purpose is to pace the therapy so you can get the most out of the therapy that will give you the best way TO DO THE WORK in the most comfortable way you can. You are not there to be in pain, you are there to LEARN HOW TO DO THE WORK TO RELIEVE YOUR PAIN AND RESOLVE YOU ISSUES. The therapist is only there to GUIDE you and help you with this process. YOU are not dumping YOU into the control of the therapist. The therapist is there to help YOU control YOU and gain strength by learning TOGETHER WITH THE THERAPIST how to do just that.

Open Eyes