This is kinda long...My mom and dad died in 99 and my mom and I were close...Every year around her b-day I have a really tough time...But this year something really weird happened...The week prior to mom's b-day I thought about it coming up but really wasn't depressed about it...But the day before her b-day I was taking a shower and I had these thoughts in my head like a voice was telling me what to do as I took my shower...If she said hurry I would hurry or whatever, and then the voice would say mommy loves you and your a good girl etc...I started to say yes mommy etc...The thoughts stayed with me and I got on the net and went to another BPD forum, then the weird part really got weirder...The voice told me I was bad (I'm not going into detail cause I don't want to upset anyone) and that I had to do bad things to myself...I started saying I'll be good to the voice...Anyways while I was on the other forum I felt and acted like a child, I wrote as if I was a child...One of the other poster tried to mother me (I guess thats what you would call it) and this voice in my head got furious...It took everything in my power to not rage at the member...I was so angry that my body shook...To make a long story short the thoughts stayed with me all day and the next day which would of been mom's b-day and the night of her b-day the thoughts disappeared and I've been fine since...People on the other board said I split, I've never done that and I haven't had this problem since...Does anyone have any idea what may of happened...JB