You are soo correct Amandalouise I was excited about this new discovery after reading your post last evening. You seem to have an excellent grasp about all of this. I can't thank you enough for being a good listener and grasping what I needed to hear ((( appreciation hugs ))).

This morning, while re-reading your responses, I started to feel suddenly very sleepy and couldn't remember my direction with this at all. In fact, I lost my train of though and couldn't remember anything. I took a break and went outside for a bit and now am back and a little more clearheaded but still I feel the sleepies coming back. I know that when I feel sleepy like this, it's my mind shutting down.

Last night I realized that I am at a crossroad now, facing ..... change..... and I think the defeatist is taking charge now, befuddling and orchestrating my attempt to start this process. I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head, it's an irrational urge and am trying not to do this today, but might just go back to bed, not under the covers and listen to a new book tape that interests me.

Will have to take this slower than originally thought, so you are correct with this factor. Don't want to overwhelm all the parts and cause more havoc and chaos.

Even though I have all these skills, not sure where to begin and with which part and which skill. Wishing I had a trauma therapist to see weekly to walk me through this process as it is going to be very tricky.