I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I can only try to understand how hard this time must be for you,but I sure it is much worse than even that. Maybe it would be good to call you p/doc or whoever prescribes for you and see if you can see them as soon as they are back in the office on Tuesday, or if things get worse maybe they have someone covering over the long weekend. I certainly understand wanting to get rid of the meds. I've done it too. Sometimes, though, it can make those self destructive thoughts come back with a vengence. Please reach out for help if you need it. You can always go to the ER if necessary. You are not alone. I think many of us have done this at one point or another. Please take care.