I don't leave the house often anymore and if I do it is either to go to work or make a trip to a 24 hour store at one or two in the morning to avoid people as much as possible. I've always kind of been this way, but it has gotten worse over the past year. I used to go out during the day time, but now I avoid that as much as possible, unless I'm just driving in my car or going through a drive thru.

A lot, but not all, of this stems from an embarrassing condition I have that has gotten worse over the past year. I've always been a bit more on the hairy side for a female, but recently I've discovered that my hormones are out of whack and I keep developing more hair everywhere. My face and neck is all jacked up from multiple electrolysis appointments to try and get the situation more manageable. This doesn't play too well with my existing social anxiety. Medication to balance things is an option, but from what I've read, it won't get rid of the existing hair and has a lot of negative side effects. I feel so disgusting and I hate my body.

Tonight, they are letting off fireworks nearby and I was going to drive down a back road and watch them from afar, but I've grown too comfortable with my house. I just don't feel like I can function properly around people and it feels like the energy is drained from me the minute I walk outside. When I see a bubbly, sociable person, I wonder how they do it. I want to be that person, yet I don't!