woodruff, I think that you should bring this post and I hope you see someone who specializes in PTSD. PTSD can mimick different disorders, even asbergers or autisim.
You have gone through a lot in your life. But you did get high grades in school, so you are no dummy. And your still pretty young. Have you been through alot, definitely yes, and I think you can heal. I think that your smart enough and you do want to get better and manage your life better. Some of the choices you made were because of the lack of real parenting. So, don't blame yourself, your ready to grow up now. Whatever is messed up can be put in your past and you can figure out how to heal and progress one day at a time.

I hope you are taking good care of those children, you don't want them to go through what you went through.

Keep us informed, it was a good step coming here and talking. We are here to listen.

Open Eyes