Quote:
Originally Posted by objtrbit
Hiya;
Yeah when a T pushes that definitly sets things of-at the least unconsciously. Hhhmmm, I'm thinkin comparing yourself to anothers pain, oye a death in this case (which also must have affected you) well, the way I look at it is pain is pain. Once you allow yourself the credit for what you've been through-then the real work through can be done. In a way, by comparing one pain to another's trauma, it protects you from realizing what you yourself have suffered; My T used to tell me there was stuff missing too-and you wouldn't believe what comes up from the past just by living day to day, familiar things can trigger new stuff all the time. Looking back, that point at which I said I had nothing left to tell was actually the numbest I ever felt-my defense mechanisms had my walls up for sure-my T must have hit something good, as I suspect your T has with you. Self discover is a journey fer realz.
I remember Freud saying something to the extent of "I'm not saying you should mercilessly examine your innnermost troubles...but if you do, you will find out how little you know about yourself". Haha, I almost put that as my signature but I was too lazy lolz
Take care and congratulations on what you have been able to speak of so far in therapy-that stuff is so not fun sometimes.
-obj
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Oh wow yes - I do feel I have nothing left to tell and maybe over the last year or so, my T has got to know me better than I give him credit for - I do think maybe I am scared that my defenses aren't going to work and he will get through them this time. Although I thought I had been working hard, maybe all this time I have actually been "cunning" in skirting around the issues, or swithcing off, being blank / numb, presenting as vulnerable and he has been patient with me - but maybe he thinks he knows me well enough to push.
We have an imaginary safe, where some things are stored. We haven't spoken about them, only given them names. The safe has sat there under a table without a mention for a couple of months and last session my T acknowledged them again and asked me to name them - I said I couldn't remember them all - he therefore suggested that he did instead - kind of "if you don't I will" - although it was pretty terrifying just hearing them named, I guess it is a good thing, they can't just sit there forever not being talked about as that would be a waste of both of our time.
Love the Freud quote btw and appreciate the fact that you managed to fight against your "laziness" to write it down for me :-) lol