i need help, i need a life.

i feel so alone and i'm just so tired.

husband cheated on me. it's caused so much pain in our marriage.
i feel like shutting down but i have nowhere really private to do this. so i cannot shut down.

find myself thinking about things that happened years ago. childhood,late teens, young adulthood . . .reg adulthood.

lately i am fixated on the domestic issues between husband and i. things that happened years ago. like the time he broke my nose. or all the times we had sex against my will.

he is a loving man but i'm not remembering that right now.
right now all i see is the man who hurt me.
the one person i thought loved me unconditionally.