Oh wow yes - I do feel I have nothing left to tell and maybe over the last year or so, my T has got to know me better than I give him credit for - I do think maybe I am scared that my defenses aren't going to work and he will get through them this time. Although I thought I had been working hard, maybe all this time I have actually been "cunning" in skirting around the issues, or swithcing off, being blank / numb, presenting as vulnerable and he has been patient with me - but maybe he thinks he knows me well enough to push.

Hiya! The part here about skirting around the real issues-definitely a natural defense mechanism there. Made me laugh a little...I used to be scared of the silence, and on top of it I would skip from topic to topic like crazy-that way my analyst wouldn't even know where to begin haha. They always seem to find something unpleasnt to zero in on, so eventually I'd pick one in fear of them picking a "tougher" one-all of it sucks!! lol So I think I feel you there for sure.

We have an imaginary safe, where some things are stored. We haven't spoken about them, only given them names. The safe has sat there under a table without a mention for a couple of months and last session my T acknowledged them again and asked me to name them - I said I couldn't remember them all - he therefore suggested that he did instead - kind of "if you don't I will" - although it was pretty terrifying just hearing them named, I guess it is a good thing, they can't just sit there forever not being talked about as that would be a waste of both of our time.

I have that "wasting time" theme too-gotta say though, it's immpossible to waste time when the most trivial thing was actually a trauma, nah' mean? Takes a long time to work through. Would you bring up to your T what you felt when he named them for you? Sounds like something that coulda made you feel something!

Love the Freud quote btw and appreciate the fact that you managed to fight against your "laziness" to write it down for me :-) lol