I hope it helps you to know that there are people who understand your desire to self-harm. It is almost an innate need that is ingrained in us to fulfill. I understand; I am in the same boat (well, my boat is a "little" different, but it's still a damn boat)!
I know for me, it helps when I sense that someone TRULY understands the emotion, drive and torment behind self-harm. It gives us a sense of release, a brief moment of sheer peace (well, until we realize we're bleeding all over the floor). I should probably stop and acknowledge here that I can be a "little" sarcastic." I promise, it benefits the both of us.
All jokes aside, even in your isolated world where no one understands, please always remember that there someone who does. And I'm here to help in any way I can.
*HUGS*