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Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying
Sorry it's so tough right now soup. I fluctuate too...always worried about when it will hit next, constant roller coaster of ups and downs and nothings. I think what was keeping me stuck the most was that I thought I had dealt with everything and then I realized that I never processed the emotions that go with the events...it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do - not just re-live the events, but re-living the emotions that went with it. Those are the times that I retreat to feeling nothing - when there is just too much. Healing does take energy and sometimes I wonder if it is all worth it. I can only hope that in the end it will be.
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Hi CSC, yes I can relate to this. Although I say I have told my T everything, actually you have reminded me that I have told him very little. It has all come from me via e-mails, pieces of paper. There is very little I have actually spoken about, let alone "felt" - oh gosh, I guess that actually is the important bit isn't it? Just thinking about sharing things with my T feels terrifying, I just don't do emotions. In 15 months, once I felt a tear trickle down my face, that has been the extent of what I can share emotionally with T. How do I get to a place where I can feel safe with the emotions?
I guess we all have to continue to have faith that it is worth it in the end - thank-you for sharing how hard it is for you, I don't feel so alone with it.
