OCDandAnxious, your post sounds like something I myself could have written. My dad and my mom (mostly dad though) physically abused me as well as verbal/emotionally abused me very much my whole life (still in my 20s so my "whole life" is my childhood LOL). Yet whenever I tried in the past to bring up said problems, my mom laughed at me and told me it was ridiculous of me to think that what they did was abusive, especially the emotional stuff, although recently my mom has admitted to physically abusing me "just a little bit", she says, and thinks now that my dad physically abused me to. But when it comes to the verbal and emotional stuff, forget it they are in so much denial it's flooding Africa. (de nile river... ha ha ha.. ) I also get terrifying nightmares about my dad and dreams of me trying to beat him up but being unable to hit him hard enough. I have PTSD, Panic Disorder, MDD, and DID because of the abuse and other things, as well. It's not like we CHOSE to get PTSD, you have to literally have gone through something traumatic, not just make up all the symptoms. T after T tells me it was abuse and illegal and all this stuff, yet my parents still are in denial (except mom about the physical stuff, and that is only recently). Good luck with everything and maybe one day we can let go but I just do not see it happening for me. I feel like I will carry this around my whole life. But you know what I hate most? Every time I see my parents having a good time or laughing. I HATE it! Here they are having a great time, totally oblivious of all the pain they have caused me! Even after admitting to the abuse, my mom believes I should just get over it, since it is in the past. Yeah right, that isn't how it works. Sorry you are going through all this. If you ever want to talk just PM me. Take care.