I have a hard time saying "no" too and then I wind up feeling completely overwhelmed with everything on my plate. I once had a therapist tell me the worst thing the CSA did to me was to take away my ability to say no. I think it did much more than that - it took my voice, my courage, my self-esteem, and a whole bunch of other things. Slowly I am trying to re-claim everything that was stolen and I hope you are able to do that also. I am glad you found a loving husband - you deserve it! I am sorry that all these things happened to you - it was not your fault and you did not deserve any of it!