all i can say to this is WOW....
it was like you jumped into my head and stole the last 5 years of my life....

i'm 26 ( just turned 26 feelings kinda old hehe)
back in 2006 i met "My soulmate"
it was one of those Whirlwind romances and she was fien with what i assumed at that point as a fetish.. and we would work thru it together.... i was finally happy to find someone who claimed they woudl support me dressing and also was slightly aroused by the thought.....
that was very short lived ... once that ring got on her finger ( engagement)
it ran something like this

" maybe tomorrow"
" Maybe next week"
"Hmm really not feeling like it "
" soon honey i promise"
i instantly thought it was cause she was scared to lose me
so being a nieve idiot i married her
then once that ring was on her finger came the killer
"NO! i forbid it, you have to repress and forget about it"
well as one can imagine i was furious but still scared.... we are now married i can't exactly go back now.. and i have to keep her happy...
so 3 years i wasted repressing my true self
over those 3 years she managed to scare my friends away and it was jsut her and me....
then she wanted an open relationship.. but she couldn't handle when i had a playmate... but she could go thru like 50 guys
so finally utterly tired of it.. i figured if she wanted a other OTHER half ( a Boyfrined) then my other OTHER half.. woudl be my feminine side.. fairs fair right ?

well naturally she didn't like that... then after abotu a week she accepted it.. but on ONE CONDITION...
she wanted to be Dominent... which is fine cause as a girl i'm submissive...
but alas... her acceptance came for about a week then she left me for a married guy with one child already.... ( home wrecker much ?)

so utterly sick to death of it....
i have finally been able to admit to myself and the world....

I AM TRANSGENDER AND **** IT... I WANT TO BE A GIRL!!!
but now im utterly lost at where to start...

sorry i knwo there isn't much help in my post.. but please i hope that you find some comfort in the fact that at least one other out there has been thru similar things to you

<3 ZP