Katrinazoe, Welcome!

It does sound like you are having flashbacks. I thought my childhood had been behind me as well, then one day, wham, it hit me. I ended up on medication and in therapy. Not a bad thing - hard to accept that I didn't have it under control, though.
Perhaps "talking" to a mental health care professional will shed the light on some of your questions. It's your choice whether you continue with therapy or just get the information you are looking for. Good luck and Welcome!

Anne All of Us