cronic pain, is such a no mans land in todays world, no one wants to toach it. I feel like that abused child who somehow knew not to speak all over again. My choices are so narow surery that will ultimitly cause more pain or pills that every one sees as drug seeking, i dont even get high off of them. the pain takee care of that. I end up feeling dirty, and bad. Like its my fault. I've pretty much isolated because those who I thought were friends, either comet on the drugs or how much weight I've lost and say I'm doing it on purpuse to feel the drugs--again I don't feel them. The dr wants to switch me to fentanyl patches so I can take less pills but after I read about them, I don't know---those are scary, and dangurous. I know shes trying to keep me from surgery like I want but thats kind of shocked me when I read them. I just want my life back. Today I start weaning off morphine and then Wen start with a low patch. Yeah where I live the staff are so great. I've never lived in one place so long, and I was one of the first to move in, it's smaller but accepts animals and recycles has a great staff. Except for the manager the come and go and some how remain good people. Thanks for commiting.