The Background:
I met my husband in 2007 - we had a whirlwind courtship which when I look back now was probably a manic episode for both of us. I'm diagnosed bipolar he is not but has a lot of symptoms. We were engaged 1 month after dating and were living together immediately. i gave up my apartment after a few months to move into his home. I got laid off around the same time so it worked out really well, but was hard after having many years of independence.

I'm 41 and he's 42. When we met we were both earning close to 6 figures...after I got laid off, he supported me taking the summer off to relax which I did, and I've been contracting since then. I recently took a work from home job that paid less because I was getting so stressed out at work.

He thinks i'm defective for having bipolar, even though his mood swings are wild and often.
My finances are horrible right now - all of my savings i had before i met my husband went towards the wedding. We've kept all of our money separate, which has been good and bad, as he's run several credit cards up and i only have one.

The Current:

We've been fighting a lot. He's very insulting and I've been aware for a while that he's been mentally abusive and just trying to deal with it and figure something out but it's getting to the point where I need to make a plan. He's also violent, not towards me, but he broke a big tool box today, and i've watched him break other things. My T told me recently that i'm showing signs of PTSD and having been in an abusive relationship before, I know this is really bad.

I told him today that his anger petrifies me and he said I should leave.
He has refused to go to any kind of marriage counseling or anger management anything. His idea of trying is being nice to me till he gets frustrated and says something mean, then pretends it didn't happen.
I talked to his mom about his temper, since he's an only child and she knows him very well. She feels bad for me and also said i'm in an abusive relationship - but she can't really do anything - she can't say anything because he'll freak out on her too.

So now I know i need to go, but I can't afford to go anywhere. and I have cats who he hates, so i can't just leave them here. I don't earn enough to pay rent with my expenses.

He told me today that he can't deal with me crying all the time so it's going to have to be soon and I just don't know what to do.