[B]HI Ashleyford.
Yes i had a father who was an alcoholic and violent with it. He was in the army and was blown up and had gunshot wounds. After the army he went into the oil biz, so i never saw him till my mother died. He came home and just fell into deeper alcohol addiction. He would lock himself inside his study/room, and type. He had fits of rage and was a very violent man.
When i reached 20 i left home and did not see him for 18 years.
His last wife died (he was married 4 times), then he was alone drinking more and more. I went to see him just before he died (certain people thought i was crazy to go see him and forgive him), But i did forgive him.
I found in forgiveness the cure, to the pain and loss of my father, I still am so proud to be his son. I worked out that the pain and loss of what had happened was something that was out of my control. He was who he was, there was nothing i could do to change it.

The pain of loss heals with time. You have to look at you're own future, and in that you will find that; to heal wounds is to live a good life. Memories do not go away but with time you will heal you're loss and need for the past to come back.
I have found that to make the past live is to live for my own future.
Memories can be hard to deal with, but you can make you're fathers memory live within by living for the future. Lead a life you're father would be proud of.

I hope this helped.
Take Care.
(p.s, have a look at the post i put in grief and loss, it has a trigger warning so dont look at it if it will upset you. i put it there so friends in PC can know some of the issues of why i'm here).

Time Heals All Wounds.
Memories fade and the pain does fade too.
/B]