Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
Dear T,
I'm sorry that I'm always getting upset and hurt by everything you do. The truth is, you treat me better than anybody ever has, and it scares me too much. It scares me because I'm so afraid to love you because i know you are going to retire and be out of my life one day. So i guess subconsciously, maybe i'm trying to find things wrong with you to keep from loving you.
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I can so relate!! I told my therapist that I constantly try to (subconsciously) sabotage our therapy. I try to find her make a mistake or to
'get her'. We talked about this one time. She said something like,
"When I was a child, my mother would tell us that we cut off our nose to spite our face. In other words, to hurt yourself in an effort to punish someone else."
By me finding fault in her and trying to mess things up in therapy, I am really hurting myself in the long run.
Biting the hand that feeds you?
I am terrified to need her!