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Jul 06, 2011, 03:51 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 23
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My sister keeps telling me she wishes I was the old me; my mom tells me I don't believe in anything; I'm telling myself I've been sitting on the fence for far too long, and all the while these catalysts are the culprit of my misery.
I have too many life crises happening all at the same time and it's interfering with my ability to have a sound, stable mind. I'm generally not happy. I'm avoiding my phone (unless it's a prospective interview), avoiding my friends (unless it's the one who is graciously letting me bum on her couch) and the only thing that is appearing to make me happy is the food in the fridge. It's not even the food, it's the condiments. I'm drinking coffee creamer straight from the bottle, spooning butter out of the tub and chugging sugar like it's water. But as I am staring at the bottom of the bottle, tub and bag, I don't see happiness staring back at me. I see a sad woman who has gained 25 lbs in a few weeks, a sister that has drastically fallen off course, a daughter that doubts the successful likeliness of her future, and me, someone who has created a failing reputation only to leave ugliness along my path.
But what do I do when all this ugliness is staring back at me? What do I do when I've lost all my motivation? NPC competitor/future attorney/beautiful woman with aspirations? Where did I go? And how did I get so far off track? I may have a pretty face but I definately feel ugly and rotting from the inside out; like I'm stuck in neutral at a permanent red light..or maybe the battery died.
How do I recharge it?
__________________
S~C
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