I don't want to sound harsh but what really struck me is that your son is 19 and you say you fix his meals and do his laundry. Why? It sounds like your son knows that if he pushes he will get what he wants. My soon to be ex-husband's parents do EVERYTHING for him this way and it only served to enable his manipulative behavior. He's used to having everything done for him or for everything to be made easy for him so when it appears that he may have to do something or that something may be difficult he lays a guilt trip on whoever he wants to solve it for him. It seems to me your son is 19 and you need to let him sink or swim on his own. Ultimately he's not going to feel good about himself if your doing everything for him anyway. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm really not but I've seen where this type of spoiling leads and it's not going to get better unless you really put your foot down.