Hi

I'm in Australia too. You seem like a nice guy. Have you ever had therapy for the grief and loss you would have experienced of the loss of your gf? Depression can be anger turned inward. Maybe you still blame yourself for her death? These things can be explored further in therapy. Drugs are merely a bandaid but don't actually address the core issues. Your still young just don't be too upset about virginity it will happen in time. Many women want to meet a guy like you who is sensitive and intelligent. Give it time, be yourself.