ladymacbeth, you did an excellent job of stepping us through your exact feelings. When something like this happens to me, I can barely grunt out a I feel yucky to my T. I've read a million self help books, but this is just an amazingly clear, detailed, and beautiful description of the twists and turns of your emotions. (Only without stupid cliches like that, that crummy writers like me resort to!) I'm sorry you went through that, but what a lovely piece of art came from it. It's like a poem. Poetry slam poem, but still! (I have no idea what I'm talking about.)