Is that something that you'd be interested in working on? It sounds to me as though whatever concerns you might have about asserting yourself in chat, could come up for you in other situations as well.

For me, asking people to include me more or to make allowances for me hasn't usually worked that well. Sometimes they're not willing to. Other times they'll stop what they're doing and ask me what's on my mind, and I'll discover I'm not ready to talk about it.

For me, the best way to get the attention of a group of people is to get real clear about what it is I want to say to them. Paradoxically, by the time I'm there, I've often sorted out my issues and may not even need much support any more. For getting clear in the first place I prefer to work by myself and/or one-on-one, or (on rare occasions) with a small group of supportive people.