hello its been a while, just trying to cope with tis depression and i think i may have taken a step in the right direction but i dont know honestly. im not sure of much of anything. cant even tell if im coming or going and dealing with depression adds to it. i made an appointment to see a psychiatrist and i dont know if that was the right thing to do or should i have made an appoinment to a psychologist. im just trying to get an understanding as to what im up against and dealing with and how to treat it.

i was excited to get this new job and its been rocky ever since.. but either this is depression or a combination of a very negative work enviorment where everyone is on this "clique" type deal as if we were still in high school. i come there to do my job and go home and whats the harm in that. some days its hard with the issues i have going on with being depressed. and it shows in my facial expression and body language. and thats why i want to seek help. but it didnt make matters worse that i chose to do my work and stay out of peoples crosshairs and for that im called a lazy person,and stupid.and the sad part is these are hourly associates having conversations with management. im prior military and where i come from there is a thing called honor and respect and professionalism. and this type stuff ends up playing on my depression. it used to be a point in time where i would go off on these type people or just shrug it off and keep doing what i had to do. now it bothers me and im worried. because im starting to let others get to me and feel low and i hate that. i just want to be able to live and let live. i dont bother anyone but because im not "popular" or what not im an outcast. i know i do my job to the best of my ability if not i would not have been hired full time. but for other people to say that bothered me. and at this job peoples opinions go a long way with the right managers and it sucks. work place stress is something i dont need. and i need help i feel on edge and im tired of it