My thoughts about ANGER and DEPRESSION and ANXIETY and an UNAWARENESS of how we often facilitate it UNKNOWINGLY

My last visit was very interesting with my therapist.

I had thought that I might learn something from this man as he had grown up in the world of treating mentally ill patients. And he talked about a lot of books that discuss things that I brought up and how I view these different aspects. And then I felt empty as I had never read the books but knew it anyway. And then I was reminded of what happened when I read the workbook for PTSD. I was reading methods that I had used all my life and by reading about the methods it opened some proverbial door that lent to flashbacks that I could not understand. And I still don't understand why that happened, I did know my past but I would know it differently now, I would know it by remembering how I UNKNOWINGLY dealt with the stress from it.

So I have been trying to consciously understand why I have flashbacks. I have managed to cut out much of the flashbacking by a determination to get there first and address it. And so far it has worked. And I am also working on figuring out how stress unconsciously builds up to a point where someone is left riddled and in pain. And so far I have been gaining, it is a work of self awareness and really addressing each little event that accumulates stress without real knowledge. It is a mindfulness that I have never tried before and most people do not know how to do it either. The task of doing the work has to be understood in order to truely gain a better sense of self and how to consciously be aware of the WHYS. It is not just about what to do when an anxiety attack happens, it is more about consciously working against anxiety build up to begin with. It is not being or concentrating on each moment when it happens but to have a more mindfulness way of preventing that from moment to moment. It is a conscious effort to retrain the brain to not allow for this build up that somehow one has unknowingly allowed to happen.

And I think about the statement that depression is anger taken inward. Well we may not consciously know where to put it or relieve it so we hold it in and that wouldn't be healthy now would it? I think we often do it unintentionally, I know I do it. We may call it self control but is it? It is said that one cannot be forced to extinguish depression by just trying to think good thoughts. Well, if one is storing anger I would think that being able to think good thoughts already overwhelmed with a storage of anger could not really be possible. Anger is the one emotion that is the most exhausting emotion, most destructive as well, even self destructive. I would think that many intelligent people would have more trouble releasing anger. Perhaps that is why they say ignorance is bliss.

I wonder if the people who are stuck in depression harbor too much anger and that is why they are stuck in depression. Or depending on the days events anger like stress could be building up leading one to become overwhelmed with exhaustion. I think it could be the same as a build up of anxiety that leads to the body experiencing it in what we call an anxiety attack. I have a feeling that we store emotions, perhaps even in some ways learn to store them without ever learning how to release them. And I think that perhaps we can develope these issues as we grow up in an environnment where our parents never allowed us to express anger or they quickly shut off fear or even tell a child/us to stop crying and being a baby. They unintentionally teach a child/us to hold in emotions. But there are other ways this can happen in childhood as well but what ever environment the child developes in, holding in emotions is learned and becomes something done unconsciously.

So because many parents try to teach restraint and often teach how to hang on to it as a sort of self control than we must devise a therapy to do the reverse. A therapy that would allow one to learn how to let anger out and address it just as addressing past traumas. Therefore on a conscious level one could actually learn how to release anger in a healthy way and make room for positive happy feelings.

I would think that may be why antidepressants may not always work. Perhaps the placebo effect is learning how to release enough anger subconsciously and one does begin to feel release and even possible room for pleasure. But it will not work long term unless one truely learns how to release anger instead of trying to control it and hold it inward.

I have been very angry and I vented that here. NO replies or solutions, but the anger was infact released outward. Well I am allowed to do this because it is accepted here and I am a woman.
But I have noticed that when men can come here anonymously and do the same, they to feel better. But they are not consciously aware of WHY. It is often sad to me when a political thread is closed, especially if men express some anger and then they read and express more anger. And I am willing to bet that they feel some relief in that process and don't truely realize what that means. They may not be athletic or interacting in sports but they can release anger by a good old debate of witts. They don't realize it but as they release the anger, the brain actually wakes up as it releases that anger. So it is actually sad when a political debate closes down in not realizing that it is very therapudic. It should be truely considered as a type of therapy. Especially for the intellectual mind that may habor anger and is in great need for a release. A release can be accomplished by engagement of intellectual debate actually providing an avenue for the release of anger, a very theraputic avenue. And I think that needs to be taken into consideration more at PC.

I truely feel that the brain is very capable of repair. But the secret is that one has to be made more consciously aware of how they allow themselves unknowingly to hold emotions in. Especially men as they are often encouraged in self control and thinking that it is a sign of growth maturity and intelligence. Perhaps that is why often they like to watch violence more than women. Men may actually be able to release anger by watching it displayed. Women tend not to want to do that as it is much more acceptable for a woman to display emotion and violence only brings on emotions whereas it releases it in men. I also think that men who release anger by interacting in sports may fair better emotionally as they have an outlet to express the build up of anger and frustration. I also think that men who display a true pleasure in partaking in watching sports also get to release anger and feel healthier mentally.

See how I think? My husband tells me I go so deep he cannot possibly follow. But I do go deep, always have. But by going deep I do come up with some good ideas and possible ways to analyze how to consciously focus on psychological strain.

I am now curious if a man who experiences deep depression and struggles, what would be the true resolve? I do know women experience this as well. But my question is, is it because there is too much storage of anger that each person unknowingly trys to control inwardly and needs to learn methods of release? In order to experience pleasure one must have the ability to release anger. Perhaps anger in itself creates an interuption of the chemicals or firing in the brain that takes place during pleasure. It would make sense that this would occur and anger does interrupt pleasure as it is the opposite, great displeasure.

Something to think about for someone who suffers from depression, perhaps someone who exceeds in quiet self control, even someone who may bequite intelligent. Efforts can be made to obtain knowledge while anger is still there one can spend lengths of time gaining knowlege while still angry as we often learn from our great displeasures. So it is possible to learn and be angry at the same time. But it is not possible to be angry and happy at the same time. So the anger must be released, that must be learned. The unconscious hording of anger must be consciously recognized before one can learn healthy methods of release.

I also think that there is an interference with human interaction while holding onto anger. It would be much harder to control the anger that is being storred and maintain a pleasurable conversation as well. I do feel that people who hold onto anger without release can relate only about the tiresome feelings of depression in conversations, that too would have limitations of just moments of a common recognition of the feelings of exhaustion. But to enact feelings of pleasure would be difficult and limited. And while a depressed person can express empathy, the anger storred probably would limit one from displaying a positive resolution to a sad condition of another.
I truely think that depression could very well be a condition where the one who has it is overwhelmed with anger, thus cannot feel normal pleasure. The anger can even grow and cause one to be very tired as just by not being able to experience pleasure one unknowingly increases inward contained anger. " I am angry because I cant be happy", but what should be said is " I do not know how to release my anger and that prevents me from feeling happy"

So what I would suggest is if one can LEARN ways to express and RELEASE ANGER than it can free up the avenues for pleasure to take place in the brain. So, in fact, DO THE WORK takes on a whole new meaning. If DO THE WORK is working on controling anger, it wont work. DO THE WORK HAS TO BE ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO ADDRESS AND RELEASE THE ANGER.

So perhaps what happened in your past that made you hang on to so much anger that you are now overcome with depression.

I also wanted to add that FRUSTRATION IS A FORM OF ANGER.

Just some thoughts

Open Eyes