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Yeah, you'd think after they've gone that the guilt and shame would stop...but alas it will take as long as it takes...but the longer I look and see the devastation of this disease the more I see that I am always the drunks 2nd, 3rd or 4th love...never ever their first. It makes it easier for me know that. It also makes all the self flaggelation unwarranted. It's pointless, it just perpetuates the disease in my own life if I go that route and well I'm done with it. It is about my life now.
I don't know quite when she (they) stopped being my worry and concern in her (their death) probably when I finally got help for me...(the whole kit and kaboodle of us). Now I know I am just as worthy of fun, joy, life as I wanted for her (them).
Thanks for your sharing. Keep taking care of yourself.
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