Thanks Leed.
He has some really crazy mood swings.

Monday till today, Friday, he has gone from
Monday
at 1pm after i witness him kicking the cr*p out of something
telling me if I can't deal with his anger then i need to leave
5pm - asks me why I don't seem happy
6pm - tells me he can't deal with me crying and this much crying isn't normal...when i mention that his mood swings aren't normal he has nothing to say...when I ask him if he loves me enough to try to change or to get help, he says he knows the scars are too deep and he can't change what's done in the past.
8pm - comes into my room and tells me about looking at houses in another state and wouldn't it be great to live there

Tuesday
He knows I have the pdoc today so he is very nice, called me 3 times to check on me, tell me he missed me and couldn't wait for me to come home.
Wednesday still loved me most of the day and we rescued a baby bird together which i think he felt brought us together.
but he didn't like the way I answered his question....so black mood came back on and he stopped talking to me.
but now I have my plan in place...I keep acting the same, no more crying. i will be my nice self, because that freaks him out and keeps him guessing.
Went to bed not speaking but when he left in the morning on Thursday I said "bye Honey" the way I always do...
He called me 3 times Thursday - texted me while I was with my girlfriend to say how much he missed me.
When I came home last night,you'd think we had the best marriage ever.
Telling me how much he loved me, how i'm such a wonderful woman.
How he tells everyone how lucky he is.
He does not fool me.
i will be out by the time he gets home from work and out for most of the night.
I'm sure by the end of the weekend he will be on the other side of the spectrum again.

i have friends that will take me and the cats. if I have to do it that way. i'm seeing a friend in the next few weeks who has an empty house that i'm really hoping will offer it to me.

in my head i want it to be all done in one clean sweep, like where he comes home and I'm gone, all my stuff is gone....
Maybe i'm being naiive or foolish to believe that can happen.
Now that I have this plan in place of how to act, it's helping me stay more together. I'm focused on getting a job and getting out.
i really appreciate everyone's support...i know I will leave, it's just a matter of when.