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Originally Posted by Helloanxiety
I really need help on overcoming my possessiveness and jealousy. I hate feeling like it and it's causing problems between me and my boyfriend. Im so possessive that I get annoyed when he wants to go out or see his friends or do anything! And my jealousy is so over the top that I get angry when he simply mentions a girl.
I know that this really isn't healthy but might have some reasons as to why I feel like this.
First of all, I am very insecure with myself and still don't understand what it is that he loves about me. I've never had feelings like the ones I have for him and i'm terrified of losing him. Throughout my life i've never had any reliable or trustworthy male models. And I thought perhaps that i'm an only child and so i've never had to "share" anything may also contribute.
Does anyone have any idea of how I can control this so that we both can have more freedom and be happier within the relationship??
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I am dealing with the same feelings and I'm a male. I have been told by the woman I absolutely adore that I have to trust her. That she loves only me and has done nothing for me to distrust her. I cope by realizing that she had a life before me with other men and has remained friends (strictly with a couple of them) however, I catch my mind visualizing her with them romantically and sexually and become up set with myself for these thoughts.
I have learned not to react to my feelings however, she is not the type to express her love for me as much as I'd like to hear it, she admits to feelings of insecurity and is a very independant woman but, loving in so many other ways.
You have to try and let go a little, give him a little freedom and most of all trust in him and yourself. If you keep him on a short leash like you're doing he will eventually bolt to someone else. be kind, loving, supportative, even if you feel differently, make him want to be with you.\
You can do it, I am...it's not easy but, I don't want to lose this wonderful woman because of my stupid suspicons.