evangelista,

the very fact that you realize it is a flashback and that it is a memory only is a good thing!

try and remind yourself that memories are memories and we do not have to let them hurt us anymore. you are safe in the future and what happened, as terrible as it was, can no longer hurt you.

I am sorry you are having trouble. Do you think you could take the rest of the day off work to talk to T? I know you dont want to call her, but I bet she would be glad you called if she knew how you were feeling.